A lie for no reason

Thought I should do a little intro before I spam endless unread blog posts into the stratosphere. Although the point of this blog is anonymous dating advice, stories and general ramblings, the basics are needed for you to understand why I’m in a position to write about dating.

I’ve been ‘single’ practically forever, I’m a dating app aficionado having used everything from match.com to Hinge to some more ‘off beat’ and specialist apps. I’ve done it all and I’ve a hundred stories to tell anyone willing to listen. I thought a blog would be therapeutic, plus the one thing I have realised over the years is to learn from my mistakes, so you can learn from them too, there’s plenty to choose from.

I am however, a massive advocate of the dating apps. I know not everyone is, but I really do think that they are a wonderful thing once you’ve worked out what you want from them, what the person you’re chatting with wants out of them and most importantly, set yourself some boundaries. We all have endless rules of what we would and wouldn’t swipe on (must have a bio, no dead fish, no smokers, must be taller etc etc etc), but we all know that rules are for breaking. If Idris Elba popped up on my Tinder holding a fish, with no bio and only gym selfies, I’d swipe right all day long despite all of my self professed rules to the contrary.

The point is, they are what they are, and you get out of them what you want to. We all have to filter through things to get to the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Would it really be any different if we met someone in a natural way than on a dating app? Someone could still be an incoherent bellend in real life just as much as on an app, the difference is you get to delete them without confrontation and potential mortifying embarrassment.

So the apps are here to stay, currently Tinder and Bumble are the ones I’m using. I don’t really know what I’m looking for right now, but then who really does until it hits us in the face? In the meantime I have enough back stories to keep me going, a couple of dates lined up and a few that I’ve decided to knock on the head for 2020 in a bid for new year/new me.

Today’s titbit before I sign off. Background, he’s a sex therapist who I’ve seen a couple of times. It’s strictly fun, 2 sex dates, no sleepovers, no dating. He messages pretty frequently but we haven’t seen each other since late October, and if I’m totally honest, though the sex was great, I think it’s probably already run it’s course. Today he has messaged the usual ‘How’s your day, how’s work’ bullshit, and then tells me he is flying back from home tonight. He seems to have forgotten he’s already sent me a photo of the flight home yesterday morning, so he’s back and has been for 24 hours. I call him out on the lie, he says he was being sarcastic and that he was just surprised I had asked him where he was. We aren’t dating, I have no interest in his whereabouts, so there is no reason for the lie. A lie is a lie, and I’ve now told him there is no point in us continuing our ‘dalliance’ any further. So today’s lesson is a relatively simple one: a lie for no reason is the worse kind of lie there is.

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