Adult friends

In my last blog post ‘The Dark Side’, I touched on my dalliance with hookup sites, but I only covered the one bad experience I had. Today, in line with writing for Smutathon 2020, I am writing about the good times, of which there were plenty! I was newly single, in my early 20s, trying to pay a mortgage on my own and working crazy, unsociable hours at work. I wasn’t interested in traditional dating, I’d been in a relationship pretty much consistently since I was 15 and was finally free to discover myself, my tastes, my desires. I knew … Continue reading Adult friends

How can I explain to my family that I’m really okay being single?

‘I was in a committed relationship for about ten years and she pretty much out the blue exited the scene. It was hard on me if honest. I got some grief counseling, which helped me see that actually the relationship wasn’t as great as it looked and that she’d probably made a brave choice – we could both be happier elsewhere. I don’t hate her, she recently got engaged. I honestly wished her happiness. After counselling, I dropped a chunk of weight, got a new wardrobe and to use a phrase from my youth, ‘put my slut pants on’. Then … Continue reading How can I explain to my family that I’m really okay being single?

The Dark Side

It may appear that I have my shit together. I mainly do these days, but I learned the hard way, I put myself in dangerous situations, and basically made a load of really poor decisions over the years. I have many many great dating stories, funny ones, lighthearted ones and plenty to keep this blog going for a long time. But I also have a couple of really dark tales that have shaped who I am as a person. They are the basis of all advice that I give to people these days, despite times having moved on immeasurably. So … Continue reading The Dark Side

Multiple Dating

Thanks to The Winter Tinderer for giving me the platform to talk my nonsense : ) The subject is multiple dating and there seems to be a split down the middle of what people are comfortable doing, I wouldn’t judge anyone either way, but I’m happy to date others at the same time and I’ll give you my thoughts behind why. First a little background on my dating experience, just so you know a little more about me. I am 37 years old and there has been four relationships in my life so far. Three of those lasted less than a year, with my longest lasting just under 3, which means for the majority ofmy life … Continue reading Multiple Dating

Playing the field

The thing with online dating is, it makes everything and everyone more accessible. Gives us all a massive choice. Particularly with the wide variety of apps that are out there now, there are some to suit specific tastes, some for finding flings, some for finding threesome partners. The internet is literally your oyster when trying to find a potential soul mate. Invariably people are on more than one app. I used to always use Tinder, but then also be on bumble for when I was feeling a little fancier. Most people I know are on a minimum of two apps. … Continue reading Playing the field


I’ve seen a lot of stuff recently around dealbreakers. Tweets, blogs, general discussions. Everyone has them it seems. People are looking for that gold standard person, the one that ticks every box. The one that has the perfect profile, the one that fits the given criteria. I’ve had dealbreakers for as long as I’ve been dating (an inordinate amount of time!). They’ve changed as I’ve matured, they’ve evolved as my priorities have changed, they’ve been added to and subtracted from more times than I can count. Past experiences have dictated new dealbreakers being added to the list, as if categorising … Continue reading Dealbreakers

We Are Enough

I have 4 half written blog posts that I need to finish, all on varying subjects, but this just felt like something that needed to be said. And quickly. So you’ll forgive if this is a little scrappy round the edges, poorly constructed or just a mess of words, but the timing of it is just too important, I need to get the words out today. We all know that the world has been upside down since March, and just as things seem to be returning to a version of normal, many of us are venturing back out into the … Continue reading We Are Enough

Oscar Performance

Continuing on with my theme of choosing men with problems, a little story today about a brief dalliance with an actor. He was never going to be the love of my life, was always destined to be a fling, but he did provide me with the greatest first date I’ve ever had, one that I doubt will ever be topped. We matched on tinder last March. I live in a theatre town, there are always actors everywhere. I’ve had my hair cut next to Dame Judi Dench, drank Tequila with Christopher Ecclestone, seen Sir Ian McKellan’s penis and touched David … Continue reading Oscar Performance

Tits and Ass

My last blog seems to have struck a chord with many. The feedback has been amazing, and thanks to everyone that has taken the time to message me, provide feedback and share some of their own experiences with me. It’s definitely made me think, and that’s what today’s blog is inspired by. Although the last piece involves a major player from the last few months, there’s a consistent theme that will and has run through all of my dating stories since I was old enough for a cheeky finger at the back of Chicago’s. I have a type. Not a … Continue reading Tits and Ass

Walking away.

Lockdown has been bloody fantastic for a number of reasons. A break from the real world. A break from work and the realisation that I spend too much time thinking about it. More time to get done the never ending list of jobs that have accumulated over the 13 years of owning my house. No reason to go out, no reason to be disappointed on a first date. I deleted the final dating app because I’m happy with where I am right now, and with what I have going with the right guy at the wrong time. That would be … Continue reading Walking away.